Ah, the New Year! Once again a time to reflect on the last year and realize we didn’t lose that weight we wanted or go to the gym as much as we’d hoped. A time to say “This year I swear I’ll do better! I’m starting with a kale salad!”

Unfortunately, there is a natural reaction to reflect back on the year we had in a negative way. We look at all the things we didn’t accomplish, the changes we didn’t make, and the weight we didn’t lose. We use the New Year as a way to say, “what do I need to change about me?” That question basically asks: “What is wrong with me?” We pick apart the parts of ourselves that we don’t like. We disguise this by acting as though we just want to be the best version of ourselves, which would be great if it didn’t mean telling ourselves everything we don’t like.

For the remainder of this year and for 2016, I suggest something different. Take a look back at 2015 and think about all the good things you did. Did you go somewhere you enjoyed? Did you try something you never previously considered? Did you work hard and feel good about a project at work? Did you provide your family with a loving home? Did you support someone when they needed a shoulder to cry on? Be happy about the good things you did this year.

For 2016, make your resolution realistic and attainable. Consider what is truly important to you as a person. What makes you the happiest? What brings meaning to your life? If your family is your main priority, resolve to set aside time for them when you can. Resolve to say “talk to me about what’s wrong” instead of “deal with it,” when you remember to. If you love to travel, resolve to go somewhere new. This doesn’t have to mean traveling across the world. It can mean exploring a different part of your city and what it has to offer. If you feel like nothing changes in your life, resolve to try one thing you’ve never done before. Make a plan for it. We are creatures of habit. If it requires major changes in our routine, there’s a good chance we won’t stick with it. This is not to say, “don’t set a goal to lose weight.” Go for it. I simply mean- allow yourself to thrive. Pick at least one new years resolution you are guaranteed to succeed at and make it happen!